So many things have changed since January 13, 2010. It's crazy that even though I feel like my life has been on hold since the day that changed everything, everything around me has continued to go on. All the things that I thought couldn't happen without me have happened anyway. Who knew that the shop would survive if I wasn't the one they called when the credit card machine doesn't work, the cash register is jammed up, they're out of release forms or change, or just need toilet paper and paper towels? (Thanks Kate!) And who knew that Reed would be happy eating canned tuna 3 nights a week? Or that Madison and Willa would be up for a daily nap in my bed?
But most of all...who knew that The Tooth Fairy would come even if mommy wasn't there? That's right...The Tooth Fairy! Madison and Willa stayed with Reed's sister Kelly for two nights while I laid in my bed for 48 hours. I had a feeling this tooth was coming out so I sent the Tooth Fairy pillow to Aunt Kelly's with Madison. Last night it happened...in the pool...it just happened. So The Tooth Fairy came to Aunt Kelly's for Madison's first tooth and left her $5. Kelly happened to see the Tooth Fairy and asked her to please leave Madison's tooth so she could show her mommy.
So this morning, when I got my girls back, I got one baby Willa and one tremendously big, brave, toothless Madison!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Done!!!
Today was a good day. Today was a great day. Today I feel lucky. Today I feel like I've conquered the world. Today was the last day of chemo.
So, as you can see I'm a little excited about being done. I'm a little sad too. Believe it or not that has become my normal. My normal trip to Greenville will now go from every three weeks to every 3 months. I have grown to love Dr. White, her nurse Amy (who I pester the hell out of every time I get a lump or pain of any sort) and my 6 chemo nurses. As a little fair well gift I had Denise and Karen make all the nurses these beautiful pink necklaces with a silver charm. All of the necklaces are the same except the charms all say something just a little different. Things like believe, hope and cure. And for my amazing Dr. White Denise made a beautiful charm bracelet with an inspirational word on each charm. Thank you Denise and Karen...they LOVED their gifts!!!
So here's how my day went. Picked up my mom at 7:15. Headed straight to the Cracker Barrel where my lovely friend Julie met us for breakfast. The off to get a little poison through my veins at 10:30. Around 4:00 I was out and so I thought I'd go get Reed his darn IPhone for father's day. He's been wanting it for so long but I told him if he got it I'd cry. He HATES it when I cry. And guess what...it worked! So I got to get him something he really wanted. Oh yeah...and one for me too! Then we finished off the day with a big ol' feast at the Olive Garden. Definitely a day to remember!
So I know in the past I've written some pretty down blogs about all my silly worries and my obsessive concerns about this cancer coming back somewhere that's not so easy to fix. Well quit worrying about my mental state! I really only fret and get myself all worked up when I'm "down" after a treatment. That's when I feel and look like a sick person so that's when I start thinking about what could be wrong with me when really it's the Cytoxin and Taxotere reeking havoc on my system. Not cancer. So I'll probably have a few days like that coming up but then I start feeling better and my worries pretty much go away. I still think about it but I don't really stress out. I just realize that it's a possibility and know what to look for and have made a plan with my wonderful Dr. White to stay on top of all my scans and lab work for early detection if it should happen to come back.
So here's the plan...Meet with Dr. Semer next Wednesday to discuss my options for preventing ovarian cancer. Because my tumors were caused by the mutated BRCA1 gene I have a 50% chance of getting ovarian cancer. So most likely I will get a hysterectomy in the near future. Then on July 12th I go for another CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvic region and a full body bone scan because there were some areas that didn't look exactly right the first time, which was probably because of my surgery but I want to know for sure. Then I go on the 22nd to get the results from those scans with Dr. White. Depending on how that scans look I'll either get more scans in 3 months or 6 months. That same day I'll also go back to Dr. Habal (the one who did my surgery) for my 6 month check up. He'll set me up with a plastic surgeon to discuss my options for reconstruction.
Just as before, when everything started, I feel soooooo much better now that I have a plan. When they said you have cancer and these are all the unknowns and possible courses of action depending on the unknowns but they couldn't tell me which one I was suppose to take until they figured out all the unknowns, which if you remember took FOREVER, I felt more than just a little crazy. And before today I was starting to feel that same way. I knew that the chemo chapter was over but I wasn't sure what the plan was from there. I needed to have some firm course of action to make sure that I'm not just sitting on my butt waiting for some bone pain, back pain, swollen lymph nodes, constant cough or headaches that might or might not be cancer. So now I have a plan, and that feels good. I can handle whatever comes my way if I just have a plan.
I just have to say that I'm so blessed to have so many special people in my life. I love and cherish everyone of you and your kind words of encouragement when I've needed it the most. Ya'll have been my back bone and my sanity and I'm so glad that this chapter is over and in a couple of weeks I'll be feeling normal and ready to jump back into my normal life. I miss all of you ladies from preschool and can't wait for school to start again. Really enjoyed parasailing...even though I didn't go up it was so nice to all be together. I'm looking forward to the Alice Kelly Tournament with some really awesome friends. For those of you that don't know, Reed decided that he was going to bring up the Kahuna (a super nice yacht) and take some of us girls out for the Alice Kelly Fishing Tournament to celebrate the end of my treatment. He came up with it all on his own and it couldn't be more appropriate since all the proceeds go to the Outer Banks Cancer Support Group. This might be the most thoughtful gift he's ever given me! Not to mention it's going to be incredibly fun!!!
So in a week or two I hope to see a lot of all of you because I've missed you all so much! I just might have to have a remission party once I get the all clear on my scans. So thanks again to all of you for all the prayers and positive thoughts!
So, as you can see I'm a little excited about being done. I'm a little sad too. Believe it or not that has become my normal. My normal trip to Greenville will now go from every three weeks to every 3 months. I have grown to love Dr. White, her nurse Amy (who I pester the hell out of every time I get a lump or pain of any sort) and my 6 chemo nurses. As a little fair well gift I had Denise and Karen make all the nurses these beautiful pink necklaces with a silver charm. All of the necklaces are the same except the charms all say something just a little different. Things like believe, hope and cure. And for my amazing Dr. White Denise made a beautiful charm bracelet with an inspirational word on each charm. Thank you Denise and Karen...they LOVED their gifts!!!
So here's how my day went. Picked up my mom at 7:15. Headed straight to the Cracker Barrel where my lovely friend Julie met us for breakfast. The off to get a little poison through my veins at 10:30. Around 4:00 I was out and so I thought I'd go get Reed his darn IPhone for father's day. He's been wanting it for so long but I told him if he got it I'd cry. He HATES it when I cry. And guess what...it worked! So I got to get him something he really wanted. Oh yeah...and one for me too! Then we finished off the day with a big ol' feast at the Olive Garden. Definitely a day to remember!
So I know in the past I've written some pretty down blogs about all my silly worries and my obsessive concerns about this cancer coming back somewhere that's not so easy to fix. Well quit worrying about my mental state! I really only fret and get myself all worked up when I'm "down" after a treatment. That's when I feel and look like a sick person so that's when I start thinking about what could be wrong with me when really it's the Cytoxin and Taxotere reeking havoc on my system. Not cancer. So I'll probably have a few days like that coming up but then I start feeling better and my worries pretty much go away. I still think about it but I don't really stress out. I just realize that it's a possibility and know what to look for and have made a plan with my wonderful Dr. White to stay on top of all my scans and lab work for early detection if it should happen to come back.
So here's the plan...Meet with Dr. Semer next Wednesday to discuss my options for preventing ovarian cancer. Because my tumors were caused by the mutated BRCA1 gene I have a 50% chance of getting ovarian cancer. So most likely I will get a hysterectomy in the near future. Then on July 12th I go for another CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvic region and a full body bone scan because there were some areas that didn't look exactly right the first time, which was probably because of my surgery but I want to know for sure. Then I go on the 22nd to get the results from those scans with Dr. White. Depending on how that scans look I'll either get more scans in 3 months or 6 months. That same day I'll also go back to Dr. Habal (the one who did my surgery) for my 6 month check up. He'll set me up with a plastic surgeon to discuss my options for reconstruction.
Just as before, when everything started, I feel soooooo much better now that I have a plan. When they said you have cancer and these are all the unknowns and possible courses of action depending on the unknowns but they couldn't tell me which one I was suppose to take until they figured out all the unknowns, which if you remember took FOREVER, I felt more than just a little crazy. And before today I was starting to feel that same way. I knew that the chemo chapter was over but I wasn't sure what the plan was from there. I needed to have some firm course of action to make sure that I'm not just sitting on my butt waiting for some bone pain, back pain, swollen lymph nodes, constant cough or headaches that might or might not be cancer. So now I have a plan, and that feels good. I can handle whatever comes my way if I just have a plan.
I just have to say that I'm so blessed to have so many special people in my life. I love and cherish everyone of you and your kind words of encouragement when I've needed it the most. Ya'll have been my back bone and my sanity and I'm so glad that this chapter is over and in a couple of weeks I'll be feeling normal and ready to jump back into my normal life. I miss all of you ladies from preschool and can't wait for school to start again. Really enjoyed parasailing...even though I didn't go up it was so nice to all be together. I'm looking forward to the Alice Kelly Tournament with some really awesome friends. For those of you that don't know, Reed decided that he was going to bring up the Kahuna (a super nice yacht) and take some of us girls out for the Alice Kelly Fishing Tournament to celebrate the end of my treatment. He came up with it all on his own and it couldn't be more appropriate since all the proceeds go to the Outer Banks Cancer Support Group. This might be the most thoughtful gift he's ever given me! Not to mention it's going to be incredibly fun!!!
So in a week or two I hope to see a lot of all of you because I've missed you all so much! I just might have to have a remission party once I get the all clear on my scans. So thanks again to all of you for all the prayers and positive thoughts!
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