So today didn't go so well. The MRI actually showed two other spots. They chose to biopsy the one farthest from the original tumor. That one was the same aggressive cancer as the original spot so they can only assume that the third one is cancer as well. The "new" ones are, however, much smaller than the first one. So...one week from tomorrow...Wed, Feb 3rd...I will go to sleep with boobs and wake up without them. Although there is no sign of cancer in the left breast and there is no medical reason at this point to remove it, I have chosen to have it removed as well...so I can sleep at night. During this same surgery they will check my lymph nodes and I will know when I wake up...boobless...if it is in my lymph nodes or not. I think they will also be able to tell me what stage my cancer is. After that, I'll start chemo. If there is no need for radiation I can have reconstructive surgery right after chemo. If they decide that I do need radiation, then I'll have to wait two years before they will even consider any kind of reconstructive surgery.
Funny thing is...just like when I was told I have cancer...and I thought I had prepared myself for the worst, but the worst is much worse than I ever imagined. On January 13th I went into the doctor's office prepared for bad news...like precancerous cells, preventative meds, keep an eye on it. Instead I got "aggressive form of breast cancer." Today I was prepared for the second spot being cancer and maybe a partial mastectomy. But instead I got "radical mastectomy", ASAP. Good news is that I was prepared to ultimately have a double mastectomy...I just wasn't ready for it to be next week. But, I guess, the sooner it's over, the sooner I can move on and get back to everyday life without cancer.
All of you, even though you feel like your just sitting on your bums feeling like you are doing nothing, are doing so much just by being there. I'm so blessed to have such a huge support system and such incredible friends and family. I can't imagine going through something like this without the love and support of all of you.
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Love you Michelle. Many prayers are sent your way. I do remember the days of not knowing what tomorrow will bring, with my son. Then, undergoing radiation with him. You will discover how strong you really are. And, with your strong family/extended and immediate, you will get through it all.
ReplyDeleteMarsha
sweet michelle. i'm literally crying tears with you right now. but i will also be dancing with joy with you when you beat this thing!! anna barrett ps-clara pierce sends love to "miss shell"
ReplyDeleteI have gone to sleep and woke up with my boobs gone, I was fortunate to be able to have reconstruction, it still is hard, please call me if you would like to talk about what is going on, I might have some insight. Why woudnt they do reconstruction after your mas? PLease feel free to call anytime day or night 757-613-1687 much love to you!
ReplyDeleteMichelle - Vic and I are with you in spirit on this as we visit your blog. (a good idea of your friend to do this, so that we can keep up) and let you know we are thinking of you and praying for you to get through this difficult time. This approach, under the circumstances,is sound, I think, from my limited experience through relatives and friends who have had to face breast cancer. Big hugs for you from Vic and me. We will be thinking of you a LOT in the next week and beyond.
ReplyDeleteSweet Michelle My Belle - So sorry to hear that things have turned out this way. Just wanted you to know you're on our prayer list here at school & Butch has put it on his church's prayer list also. I know our Heavenly Father will help you get through this. I wish I was there to give you a big hug right now! Love you - Sandy & Bob
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I wanted to let you know how much you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I learned of your cancer in church on Sunday. You are such a strong person, I know you will come through this with flying colors. Once your surgery is complete, you will be on the road to recovery. Please know that I would be glad to help you in any way- just add me to you already very large support system !! I will continue to think about you in the weeks to follow.
ReplyDeleteNancy Sugg
Michelle, I cannot even begin to understand what you are going through. But, you are in my prayers, along with many others. Seeing my sister-in-law go through this, just remember to stay strong and accept all the help that is being offered.
ReplyDeleteMiss Michelle - you can beat this. Just stay strong in your heart and your faith. Breast cancer has touched my family and another friend and I can say that a strong support system and the love that you feel from everyone...will carry you this challenging time in your life. You have made such a big impact on my son...he would only go to you in the beginning, remember? And knowing that he found comfort and safety in your arms...made me feel a little better about letting him go. You're smile is infectious and your heart is HUGE! Stay strong and try to find a little of that same comfort in the arms of those you love and love you even more.
ReplyDeleteThe Bossola family is here for you and your family....whatever you may need.
Dallas, Andy and Kiki
Michelle - I just found out - my heart goes out to you - you sound soo strong. Like others have said I can't truly imaging what you are going through, but if there is anything at all that you need - even just a person to call late at night, please remember I am around the corner!
ReplyDeleteLove
Helen Corbett
I just want to tell you what a wonderful person you are. I hope you had as much fun as we did tonight. It felt good laughing and carrying on like crazy ladies. You are a terrific woman and I am so glad we are friends. I'm here for whatever you may need...especialy a good laugh.~D
ReplyDeleteIt should be me! I'm the older one and you are the younger with 2 small kids. We haven't been close but I hope you know I love you and am here for you whatever you may need. JL
ReplyDeleteNo two ways about it: life is a journey. God gives us this amazing gift. You and your family are precious gifts. We are close in spirit. Charles and Della
ReplyDeleteMichelle, My prayers are with you... you are such a strong woman... i know you can get through this! Love ya, Brooke
ReplyDeleteCancer...it's a crazy, scary, life changing journey. You, my friend, have an amazing attitude and that will make all the difference in the world. You will learn that you can't take it more than a day at a time, sometimes even more than an hour at a time. Step by step you may grow physically weaker but you will be mentally stronger. You will be surrounded by love and support and that will get you up each day. The little joys will matter more, the stupid stuff that we all get upset about becomes almost laughable. You will have a new view on life and birthdays and celebrations. And one day, you will get the news that you are cancer free and you will have beaten this horrible disease and you will have the title of Survivor....it's an amazing word that will mean so much! Keep your smile going, lean on the Lord, you CAN do this, you are loved.
ReplyDeleteIn prayer,
Holly, Ben and Hunter- our survivor!!!!